Learning to Enjoy Your Own Company (Without Feeling Lonely)
MINDSETALL BLOGS
There’s a quiet kind of strength that not everyone talks about: Liking yourself enough to enjoy your own presence. Not in theory. Not in captions. But in real life. For real time. No noise. No distractions. Just you, alone, but not lonely.
It doesn’t always come naturally. Maybe you’re used to constant input, texts, updates, plans, content.
Maybe stillness feels like something’s missing. Or maybe you were never taught how to be with yourself in a way that feels safe. But being comfortable alone isn’t a personality trait. It’s a practice. And it can be learned.
Why we avoid our own presence
Your brain is wired to avoid discomfort. So when solitude brings up boredom, self-criticism, or unresolved thoughts, distraction becomes easier than depth. According to a 2014 study in Science, most people preferred mild electric shocks over sitting in silence with their thoughts for 15 minutes. Why? Not because humans hate quiet, but because we’re out of practice being internally present.
Your mind may associate stillness with loneliness. But the two aren’t the same. Loneliness is the absence of connection. Solitude is the presence of self.
Signs you’re rebuilding that relationship
You stop filling every gap in your day with a screen
You notice details around you, light, temperature, breath
You can sit in silence without feeling restless
You stop seeking constant reassurance
You feel more at peace after time alone, not more anxious
This isn’t about being antisocial. It’s about being so rooted in yourself that your joy doesn’t depend on anyone else’s presence.
Ways to practice being with yourself
Take a walk without your phone (or with it on airplane mode)
Eat a meal slowly, focusing on flavor and texture
Sit in silence with a journal and just write what comes up
Do something creative: draw, doodle, design, without a purpose
Go somewhere alone on purpose: a bookstore, a coffee shop, a park
At first, you may feel fidgety or unsure. But slowly, your system recalibrates. Your thoughts slow down.
You stop performing, and start listening.
Final thought
Learning to enjoy your own company is one of the most underrated forms of confidence. Because once you truly like being with yourself, you stop chasing people who don’t know how to show up. You stop over-explaining to be understood. You stop performing to feel seen. And you begin to realize: You are enough company for yourself. And anyone who joins you in that space, is just a bonus.